Top 10 Badasses in Literature

Who says that lit is boring? This is a list of the top 10 (actually 11) people in literature who don't let anyone mess with them

10. Tie:
John Clarke (Tom Clancy)
He’s not the biggest badass, but he’s the only good guy who will cut your fingers off if you lie.

Mitch Rapp (Vince Flynn)
“Let’s play a game. Round one: Lie and it’s your left foot. Round two: Lie and it’s your other one. Round three: Your knees. You don’t want to know what’s round four.”

9. Mr. B. Gone (Clive Barker)
Destroy this book. Destroy this computer if you read this. I am inhabiting this web page. I will devour your soul if you keep reading. Like that? Read the book.

8. The Time Traveler (H.G. Wells)
When was the first time someone fought off baddies in the future with a crowbar? It wasn’t Half Life. That’s for sure.

7. Captain Nemo (Jules Verne)
You think that all of the guys who live under the sea are weak? This guy uses Spongebob to clean the grout in his bathroom..

6. Tarzan (Edgar Rice Boroughs)
He was raised by apes, killed a leopard as a child, and had Phil Collins do his soundtrack. Nuff said.

5. Macbeth (Shakespeare)
He’s a good guy who goes bad, and manages to hallucinate that a blood-spewing spirit stole his chair. Also, of course no one of woman born can kill him.

4. Elizabeth Bennet (Jane Austen)
She killed off hordes of zombies and trained under shaolin masters of-wait, what do you mean “that’s not in the real book”?

3. Dracula (Bram Stoker)
He is so badass that he can make a box explode on command. Also, he turns into a giant werewolf, not just a bat. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Edward Cullen.
Bonus: He doesn’t sparkle.

2. George Challenger (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
He goes into a jungle by himself, travels to an uncharted plateu, singlehandedly kills a dinosaur and brings it back, and this is before the book even starts.

1. Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
What do I need to say. He's the only guy who has outwitted everyone in the entire world, and survived falling down a waterfall. Not only that, he knows Bartitsu, a martial art that not even Bartitsu masters really know about.

Why is he wearing sunglasses in nineteenth century Europe?